One of the “grooms of the year” was 42-year-old Necati Şaşmaz, or by his
much more well-known name, Polat Alemdar, the leading character of
popular Turkish crime drama with a very nationalistic tone “Valley of
the Wolves” (Kurtlar Vadisi).
He tied the knot in December with a modest 20-year-old college student with the approval of his family, a relationship that nobody had heard of, unlike Şaşmaz’s previous relationships. What led to more coverage was the fact that this sudden marriage took place only shortly after his most recent and public relationship with an actress ended. This example, among many others, once again reflected the famous unwritten rule, if not the hypocrisy, in Turkish society: the distinction between girls to have fun with versus girls to marry.
Although men from all walks of life in Turkish society suffer from this dichotomy because Turkey still has a very traditional and very patriarchal society, men from conservative backgrounds are more under the spotlight. After all, the conservatives, as the largest class of the country, have become increasingly visible in a changing Turkey. One of the ways they cope with modernism is relationships. In a way, the conservatives of Turkey -- particularly men -- are tested by the way they relate to women. They seem to suffer from a contradiction posed by the modern and Western lifestyle and the choices they are supposed to make according to their traditional culture. As a result, at some point, most of them revert to their family’s choice when it comes to choosing a partner with which to start a family after experiencing and enjoying all the available options.
He tied the knot in December with a modest 20-year-old college student with the approval of his family, a relationship that nobody had heard of, unlike Şaşmaz’s previous relationships. What led to more coverage was the fact that this sudden marriage took place only shortly after his most recent and public relationship with an actress ended. This example, among many others, once again reflected the famous unwritten rule, if not the hypocrisy, in Turkish society: the distinction between girls to have fun with versus girls to marry.
Although men from all walks of life in Turkish society suffer from this dichotomy because Turkey still has a very traditional and very patriarchal society, men from conservative backgrounds are more under the spotlight. After all, the conservatives, as the largest class of the country, have become increasingly visible in a changing Turkey. One of the ways they cope with modernism is relationships. In a way, the conservatives of Turkey -- particularly men -- are tested by the way they relate to women. They seem to suffer from a contradiction posed by the modern and Western lifestyle and the choices they are supposed to make according to their traditional culture. As a result, at some point, most of them revert to their family’s choice when it comes to choosing a partner with which to start a family after experiencing and enjoying all the available options.
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